Wednesday, June 22, 2011
“I *Never* Do”
2. Never allow yourself to be photographed doing the “Chicken Dance.”
I was having a very good time at my wedding. Such a good time, I didn’t realize that my new uncle-in-law had stopped filming the 19 year old Danish foreign exchange student and turned the camcorder on me until we were at a post-wedding gathering at the Eagles Club 2 weeks later.
“Is that you?” my husband, Fred, asked. I looked up from a conversation to see myself flapping and making “talkie-crab hands” on 5 giant T.V. screens. Thanks to a prior undocumented slow dance with Fred’s sweaty friend, my make-up was running.
Don’t even get me started on the “Hokey Pokey” clip.
3. Unless you want exploding boutonnieres roses, never order from “Discount Flowers.”
I ordered peach roses for my bouquet and the men’s boutonnieres from a cheap florist. We were outside only 10 minutes before the temperature change caused the cold flowers, pinned to the men, to explode. We’re talking Morticia Addams-like beheaded flowers. Petal-less stems. “Anti-Boutonnieres.”
4. Make sure your wedding photographer doesn’t have a brain tumor.
We took requests for extra picture copies back to our wedding photographer—who had a complete personality change and didn’t know who we were. I described us, “The Frazers. You know, exploding flowers, white nightmare “Chicken Dance”, super-model foreign exchange student?” But still, “No. Sorry.”