Pig on Uncle Henry’s Farm: Bitch fell in my sty!
Toto: Miss Gulch tastes like rutabagas and K-Y jelly.
Auntie Em: Henry just tented when Miss Gulch opened her basket #helikesemnasty
Dorothy: I’d like to send Auntie Em over the rainbow.
Toto: The house is spinning #shitjustgotreal
Mayor of Munchkin Village: How many munchkins could Glinda smuggle under that skirt?
Toto: Dancing scarecrow! #shitreallyjustgotreal
Random Crow: Talking scarecrow! #fliesawayinterror
Cowardly Lion: Does anyone else think Toto looks like a greasy rat?
Wicked Witch of the West’s broom: I am doubting the sky-writing scare tactics. I hope the people of Emerald City can read.
Oz: I just put a hit out on the WW of the W. #wheresmydamnballoon?
Winged Monkey: Damn, I hate having to hold this dog--he feels like a greasy rat.
Wicked Witch of the West: God, I hope Dorothy doesn’t think to flip over the hour-glass when it’s almost run out
Cowardly Lion: Goddamnit Oz, if you pin anything else to my chest, I’ll bit your face off!
Tin Woodsman: Do you have a pair of ruby slippers in my size in that bag? Screw the heart!
Dorothy: Are we really too poor for screens?