Wednesday, July 2, 2008

Warning!! Parents—Guard your yearbooks!

(names were changed to protect the “innocents”)

In preparation for a reunion I’ve decided to go to, I’ve been refreshing my memory of names with faces. I own two different high school yearbooks which are strewn on the floor near my computer for quick reference.

“What does KIT mean?” asks my daughter, holding my senior yearbook.

Keep in Touch.” I say.

“What about RMA?” she asks, pointing.

“That’s Remember Me Always.” I answer

KIT and RMA were “great-grandmothers” to the more modern OMG and LMAO.

We were WAY ahead of our time.

“What about SEXY?”

WHAT??

In a milli-second, I rapidly flash back to all the autographs, forget-me-nots, comments and notes that were written in my two books. Not knowing for sure how many things she read before she asked me a question, I say:

“I need to look at that, dear.” Mother has some damage control to do.

I see what she meant. Someone had written:

“If you read Gertrude’s yearbook- I am just kidding about what I wrote. We all think you look SEXY without a bra! Just kidding!

See ya, Bruno”


I don’t recall what this about-- yet I am oddly flattered.

I read another entry:

“…It’s been a great year being just friends!! (remember?!)…

Luv ya, Herman”


Herman was dreaming when he wrote that—if I’m catching his drift.

Eleanor writes:

“…we’ll ride our bikes past “certain houses”…and maybe all four of us can go to Green School and play around.”

Love, Elli”

Yikes!

JEHOZIPHATS!! All these years of Parental Control on the television, “Kiddo-Net” only privileges, making sure Victoria’s Secret doesn’t send tantalizing catalogs to my house, and here, where ANYONE can find it…unlocked and unguarded… is a Mature-Rated book of smut starring ME!

A few people appreciated that I sat next to them in biology, helped them with algebra or made choir “bearable”, but the vast majority of entries were loaded with catch phrases of the day, winks, nudges and innuendo. All meant to be teasing, I’m sure, and probably hilarious at the time ….but MY GOD! Someone reading this would have no choice but to conclude that I was a kind-hearted and fun-loving yet bra-less and boy-crazed wild woman.

That wasn’t me at all…was it??

I think I’m going out to buy a safe and lock this treachery up for good!

1 comment:

Bev Spicknall said...

You mean I have to hide the yearbooks now too?! I am so glad you're my friend. You help me stay one step ahead of the kiddies. It's good to have trail-blazing friends like that!

Hey, the Press Gazette is looking for guest columnists. I think you need to check it out.