Ecstasies and Agonies: 6 months on Weight Loss Drugs

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 Part 1  - (your experience may vary)

I am a card-carrying fat person.   Fat is in my DNA.  I’ve struggled all my life.  I love food.  My favorite hobby was Sheet-caking.

I’m almost 60 years old and I’ve tried almost everything to get thin.  I have Diabetes Type 2 and my doctor approved me for a weekly injectable weight loss drug- Mounjaro®.  My first shot was April 4th, 2024.

A little Ecstasy first:

Exit Stage Left

About 5 minutes after I gave myself a shot (the needle is tiny and doesn’t hurt at all)—I lost my appetite.  Almost immediately, my body got rid of anything that it had been holding inside it--Earth, Wind, Fire and Water  I burped more times that you can ever imagine.  4 days of this, and then I felt fine. 

Not hungry. 

Not thinking about food.  And so the journey began—The Deflation of Ms. Heidi.

Nothing prepared me for how easy the weight fell off.  Mounjaro is a miracle.  In 6 months, I’ve lost 68 lbs. 

Teenage Dream

I am living my teenage dream--being thin enough to buy clothes in any store.  And Oh my God, the choices!  For most of my life, I’ve lived in the clearance section, grabbing anything that wasn’t black and hooded.  I have a great, eclectic collection of fat clothes that drag queens are always complimenting me on.

NOW—waistline cinching pants, belts, dresses without stretch.  It’s a whole new world and I’m enjoying finding classy, beige clothes that aren’t flamboyant.

Where is Heidi?

I’ve always wanted to just blend in, but I couldn’t.  I perceive every room an opportunity for my self-esteem to be assaulted--so I deflect with humor (and bright clothes).  I am the elephant behind the skinny tree trying not to be seen, but having nowhere to hide. 

Now, I’m blissfully, intoxicatingly inconspicuous.  Dare I say, “Normal?”

Never far from the dark humor, I’m here to report some agony.

Bear Plugs:

The list of side effects from the drug Mounjaro includes Constipation. I skipped right past this one.  Psssbt.  Constipation is for pussies.

Stop right now! Abandon all you know!

Let me paint a picture: 


The three-toed Sloth poops once a week and has to climb down from the tree and use the  forest floor.  They are at their most vulnerable there, because it takes them sooooo loooonnnng.

I have sat on a toilet long enough to render my butt cheeks numb.  

The shit-balls that have been forming in my colon are now stalactites—mistletoe, hanging by one arm like a monkey, drying.  When one finally drops off, it takes another one with it, and another and forms a plug—a bear plug.  Immovable.  This becomes the norm.  Day one- no poop.  Day two- no poop.  Huh?  That’s weird.  Day three:  Bear Plug.  Day four:  Cramps, cold sweats and then…only air. 

My colon is a parade of arid shit, air-pockets, and watery sludge in far too spread-out intervals causing some unholy sound effects, gripes and then a calm. 

I cannot express to you how much respect you must give the word “constipation.”

Is it worth it? 

Hell Yes it is!

Part 2 coming next week

Comments

Anonymous said…
Love hearing your experiences❤️
October 3, 2024 at 2:46 PM
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