Job Applicant Olympics

I had a job interview yesterday.  It was mental and physical Get-A-Job Olympics.  We began with the:

Job Applicant Triathlon  

In retrospect, it seemed a whole lot like they were administering a psychological test.

Event 1:  12-page Application Completion

Those fun-loving employers set us up with a clipboard and pencil on a rickety, wheeled office chair and no table. I managed to recant my life with only one episode of writer’s cramp and one small “Hoo-Hoo-Hoo-Hoo” sound-effect when the chair moved backwards unexpectedly.

Event 2:  Math Test in an 80-degree Room

I haven’t had a math test since I was 16.  That fact alone made me sweat, not to mention the high room temperature.  Deductions for water requests (which I made).

Event 3:  Viewing of the Corporate Video

This doesn’t sound much like an event, but the office manager put the video on, left the room, but neglected to hit ‘play.’  The same video scene ran for 2 LONG minutes before I got up and pushed ‘play’ myself (full marks for bold movement).  They tried to increase the difficulty by seating me in the middle of the busy, distracting office environment.

Event 4:  Interview Hurdles

To my great relief, this morning’s interview was one-on-one.  Questions asked included the dreaded, “What is something you’d like to improve about yourself?” and "Where do you see yourself in 5 years" to which I said, "In your position". 

Event 5:  Endurance Run/Wait for the Phone Call

I’m passing the time waiting for my results by practicing sitting on an unpredictable chair and not making cartoon Tigger noises.

Unless that will get me the job, in which case, “Hoo, Hoo, Hoo, Hoo!”



Comments

Mike said…
"I got up and pushed ‘play’"

This was a test. Depending on the hiring manager you are either motivated or controlling.
Stacey Hatton said…
I would have pushed the dang button too. Get her done, I say! Great post, Heidi?!
Von said…
Well done for pushing the play button!!I'd give you the job.
Ah, yes, nothing like fun-loving employers, now, is there?
Fantastic! Along with your usual hilarity,was so creative! Love the four Charlies!
Mike- I'm sure you're right (I am both motivated and controlling. ;-)
Nurse Mommy- Someone had to.
Von-I wish you were the hiring manager--I have a feeling we'd get along great.
Raining Acorns-They have us right where they want us, those fun-loving employers.
Dawn- Thanks, girlfriend--there's a lot of Charlies I could have added too. ;-)
Jen Has A Pen said…
You worked your butt off in this post, keeping me totally amused the entire time! :-) When do you know if you get this CIA job???
tattytiara said…
Haha, I think my Charlie would have bit their fingers! Unfortunately that probably would have ended up an embarrassing security video instead of a charmingly cute viral video.
Jen-If I told you the job I was applying for--you would not believe it.
tatty-Does Charlie bite fingers--I never knew!
Candice-I would LOVE to say that!!I'll keep it in mind for an exit interview.
joanne lee said…
Loved it! How about Choo Choo Charlie!
Joanne- Thanks--I'm going to google "choo-choo" charlie! ;-)
Chelle Blögger said…
Too bad you can't put your potential employers through a battery of psychological tests! I could think of a myriad of them that would keep me entertained for days... :)
Offended Blogger- Ooo-you've got me thinking now!
Janet Johnson said…
You are jumping through hoops left and right! And I loved the four Charlies. :D Hilarious!

Best of luck on getting the job.
Thanks Janet! I'll have to make a vanity license plate--OMGAJB
Lydia Kang said…
OMG, that was too funny. You took making fun of Charlie Sheen to a whole new level, ha ha!
Mo said…
Ha ha brilliant
Katie Gates said…
I love this piece. What a great idea, putting four Charlies in a scene. And those 4? Clever!
Mo- You can call me brilliant any day--thanks!
Katie- I must thank Charlie Sheen for the inspiration.
Jenny said…
You made this flow effortlessly and seem easy which must mean either you are a genius writer or...oh...ummm... I guess it's not an either/or thing. Obviously you are a genius writer. This was clever.
Jenny- Thank you SOoomuch! Sometimes these things just write themselves! ;-)
Jinksy said…
The Tigger noise would have got you the job if I were in charge, let alone the push/play common sense! LOL
Being a fan of your blog, I would have hired you instantly. Also, I am a fairly astute manager -- at least for 13 more days -- and can usually tell the difference between the Heidi-types and the Charlie-types without a batter of tests. Hope you get the job. Looking forward to sequel. And I don't usually go back and look at old comments but...albino rhinocerous? You are way too kind.
Jinksy- in that case, HOOHOHOHOHOH.
BB- See- this is why I'm a misfit--I was referring to ME being the albino rhinoceros--which is why if you were in the store when my pants fell down, you wouldn't recognize my rear end as being human.
Will Burke said…
Job hunting is the WORST! I kinda understand thw wringer hey put you through, since I work with some twits who should have been weeded out early, but at least you got a great post out of it! Your "Four Charlies" could serve in a lot of situations!
Suze said…
I don't know if I'd harsh on ol' Charlie Brown like that. Maybe by now he's acquired a touch of Linus' philosophical sensibilities.
Sandra said…
Ok, I got a little scared when you mentioned the math test 'cause I break out in a sweat just reading the word.
But this post was awesome, I love it! I especially love how you got up and pressed 'play'! You should totally get that job, even if the hiring staff seems a little slow. I'm sure you can work around that.

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