Heidi in Real Life

My family is nuts    They brought me to the grandparent’s house, leashed me to a shade tree, left me a bowl of water and patted my head.   They were gone for 2 hours (that’s 14 in dog hours), during which time the old folks’ automatic sprinklers timed ‘on.’   There I was, trapped in my 10-foot circle while the Ch-ch-ch-ch-tsssssssssssss Ch-ch-ch-ch- tssssssssssss spritzes of water, from which I could not escape , nailed me every 20 seconds.   Oh, they came home alright, and felt bad, but I definitely heard some chuckling at my expense. This latest incident follows a long summer of “First Time Dog Owner” follies starring me.   Heidi’s previous blog detailing my humiliating “all-over” shave was a crock of dog-doo.   I would have titled it, “Jasmine feels all exposed and NASTY.” I’m glad she got butt-fur on her face.   If I had known it would have caused her such discomfort, I would have blown the hair up at her myself. This all started back in Jul...

Jasmine, our Golden Retriever, needed a special bath to help sooth a skin irritation.   My idea was to shear her so the bath concoction would penetrate better.   I have a friend who shaves baby cows to prepare them for the county fair—BABY COWS!   How hard could clipping a 60 lb. dog be? I decided I should give her a haircut before I got out anything electric.   Jasmine enjoys any attention I give her, so for the majority of the grooming session, she lay in her deep-sleep, “Butcher Chart” pose, still, aside from her tail thumping.   The books will tell you to have her either stand or sit…but I didn’t think to consult those books. Using the “Grab a Hank and Cut” method, I felt like the White Witch from “ The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe ” with Aslan on the stone table.   After an hour and a half of squatting, rolling and panting (me, not the dog), one slightly molted canine emerged and one garbage bag of 4” hair was harvested.   The books would tell ...