Tuesday, December 1, 2009

An Honest Christmas Letter

A friend of mine, after receiving my traditional, cheerful Christmas letter last year, said she felt bad because she didn’t have as many positive things to write about her family. That got me thinking...I had only written the good news.

So here, in response, is our 2009 Christmas letter.

After being laid-off last May, Fred recently got a job at a local truck manufacturing company as a project engineer. Just in time too. After 6 months of togetherness, Fred had become the houseguest who wouldn’t leave. We’d taken to occupying different quadrants of the house and only grunting to one another. At 3 months, I was “googling” Voodoo doll manufacturers, and planning which body part on my Fred “replica” I was going to prick first. You might have felt the earth move the day Fred got the job offer...that was just me jumping.

Krista got a spark-making scooter for her birthday. She promptly hit a mud patch at the side of the road, flipped over the handlebars and nearly broke her wrist. The scooter is now for sale. She got elected to the student council, takes piano lessons and does spinning classes at the YMCA. Fred and I tried taking the spinning class too, but I was diagnosed with the rare condition known as “butthurtsalot,” brought on by the anteater-nose shaped bike seat and had to quit. Fred stuck with it, but admitted his “manhood” was in jeopardy with each pedaled revolution.

I’m still a water aerobics instructor at the YMCA (5 years now). I’ve been learning how to cook a lot of great new dishes thanks to the “Food Network.” Consumption of these great new foods, plus hours logged on the sofa learning to cook them have definitely made me a "before" example. Next year my goals are to lose 60 pounds, order orthopedic shoes to relieve the pressure on my bone spur and continue with my bi-weekly chin-hair checks. Don't even get me started on my bursitis and female pattern balding.

Fred and I redecorated our living room this spring. It looks so cozy and colorful. Especially with the addition of Fred’s prize garbage garage sale find—a 1970s electric organ with some electronic issues. It was on sale for $20, but they ended up GIVING it to him. Now it's the first thing you see when you walk in. Maybe I can dress it up with a candelabra and some rose pedals. Does anyone know how to play an electric organ?

Jasmine Buttercup Ruby is our 3 year old golden retriever. She is a joy. She was recently developed a dust-mite allergy which makes her scratch her ear until it smells like beans and shake her head vigorously to deposit the scales and whatever loose hair she has on her all over our living room. Unfortunately, with Lily Munster as an owner, she'll be stuck on her steroid pills for life.

We traveled to Florida over spring break and Krista caught a 25 lb. Redfish on the inner-coastal waters. Fred also made many trips to the U.P. to get ready for hunting. Fred didn’t see any deer, but apparently saw 2 other animals: a bluebird and a squirrel.

We have them mounted on our mantel.

Merry Christmas!