Heidi in Real Life

I love to buy stuff--gifts for my family, friends for me.   I loathe being sold something .   A friend told me you need to be an asshole to buy/lease a car these days.   My DNA is not programmed for purposeful ass-hole-ness—I am terminally, exhaustingly polite.   I went for a test drive, and I said, “Let’s talk numbers,” the sales associate, now an owl, hooted and turned her head 360 degrees. I was the owl’s prisoner.   My car keys were taken right away for trade-in evaluation, so I could not leave.   Trapped, I sat, and she kept hopping off to chat with the general manager. I started to rock and found my nearest exit (which was behind me).   It was like the time-share presentation in Cancun on my honeymoon: “No.   No.   We are on our honeymoon.   No, thank you” “I have a better offer,”   sales guy leaves.   A new, well-rested, unbroken, aggressive fresh horse trots in, determined to get our money, toss-tossing his...