Heidi in Real Life

Unplanned funerals suck.  Don’t blame the dead.   You, as the “still alive” need to prepare a suitable event …and they don’t just plan themselves.  Not unlike a wedding, you need a service complete with DJ (Death Jockey), food, and a venue.   Leaving things to chance or trusting friends and relatives will be the death of YOU!   Funeral Parlors do services all the time.  When you just “can’t”, let the professionals handle it.  These days, there are lots of options--forests, boats, even restaurants.  Funerals are for the living, so if you want a religious element, for God’s sakes, audition the clergy.  The pastor who did my mother’s funeral didn’t take very good notes, and on the day of, said her name wrong and made her sound like a very unfulfilled comptometer operator.  The minister at my father’s service, dressed in a cloak and hat-- a bit like Professor Snape.  At my friend’s recent funeral, at a restaurant, her sister-in...

Our hair flying, cheeks aching from laughter and screaming--the carnival operator with the greasy hair asks if we want to “go faster” and then throws it in reverse.  Life happened to us that way, both of us gripping the railing on a ride we were not in control of—together, shaken and wobbly sometimes, but stronger and wiser, somehow. Until you had to let go… way too soon.   Amy, you were joy.   You were bubbles and butterfly nets.   I can still see your big blue eyes at times wide with gentle apprehension and the next moment tenacious and spirited.   My children delighted in your kindness and confidence--always playful, always patient.   Their Amy snuggled with them, gave big warm hugs and made them feel loved and appreciated.   You wrapped presents in wads of tissue paper and covered the boxes completely with a thick, impenetrable layer of clear packaging tape.   But Amy-- you were the gift. Amy, you were music.   Singing in the car,...