Seven Facts to Blow Your Mind

-
A blogger friend of mine sent challenged me to write 7 facts about myself.  Opening the door into Heidi’s “Fact safe”…creeeeeaaakkkkk:

1.        I spent a night with Elvis Prestley.
O.k, O.k, I was with a stadium full of people in 1973 (I was 8) at one of his last white-jumpsuit shows.  I was not impressed and spent the entire concert with a scarf over my face (the flashbulbs were blinding) and my fingers in my ears. 

Thank you.  Thank you very much.
2.        A Hamster helped me get through my divorce in 1991.

On one, lonely, miserable night just before my divorce to my then husband was final, I felt especially lonely and uncertain about my decision.   At 4:30 in the morning, I made a list of the Ex’s good and bad points.  Concurrently, our 7-year old, half-dead hamster, Elmer, squeaked his wheel, so I decided to make a pro-con list about HIM and compare it that of the Ex (hey, it was late).  The chart proved that even a smelly rodent who did nothing but sleep and poop had more pros than my ex-husband.
I still have the chart.
3.       I am a morning person, but a night witch
I genuinely get up energetic and happy.  But something happens to me over the day, and by evening time I’ve become a bitter, hungry goblin.  Important self-preservation tip:  Don’t mess with me when I’m tired, or I'll turn in to the "Incredible Hulk."
4.        I would sing the National Anthem naked for a Hershey’s bar with peanut butter.
No. Really.  I hope to be able to aquire them without doing so, but if need be..."Ooooh, say can you see?"
5.        I buy water chestnuts whenever I see them, because I mentally block out the fact that I already bought them the previous week.
I’m certain this has a diagnosis.  I also admit to doing this during the Christmas season with evaporated milk.
6.        I’ve always wondered what it would be like to play the organ
This might have started when I was a child, during my “Fascination with The Addams Family” period. 
7.        I have a harmless, mole (read: beauty mark) on my chin that has been removed thrice-- but it keeps growing back.
Now THAT’s talent.





Comments

Dawn@Lighten Up! said…
HahaHAAA! This here "sassy broad"is evil at night, too! Glad I'm not alone.
Thank you, my dear, dear friend. You know I am your biggest fan. :)
May 22, 2012 at 5:31 PM
Dawn@Lighten Up! said…
This here "sassy broad" is evil at night too! So glad I'm not alone.
And thank you for the award, though I am terrible at these things, I really, really appreciate it and you know I am your biggest fan!
May 22, 2012 at 5:32 PM
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Did you SEE that Half-Naked Woman in the Bakery Aisle?

-
Image
My pants fell down in public this morning.  I just thought you should know that up front . It was a “Perfect Storm” when it came to conditions of my “self-pantsing”:  ·          A banded-bottom sweatshirt exerting force down (and in) ·          “Day before laundry day” looser elastic underwear ·          Cargo pants with “wannabe” sweat pants waistband ·          My apparent feigning sensitivity related to air on my bare flesh At this point I’d like to interject an apology to all plumbers, electricians and rappers, who I previously chided, behind their backs, for their density regarding the exposure of their backsides.  I would say, “How could they POSSIBLY NOT KNOW their butts were exposed?”   I’m a humbler person now. It all started when I felt my underwear roll down one side off my hip while walking in a store.  When it became distractingly uncomfortable, and I couldn’t stand it another second, I said to my friend: “I’m having an underwear emergency” and I
Read more

Job Applicant Olympics

-
Image
I had a job interview yesterday.  It was mental and physical Get-A-Job Olympics.  We began with the: Job Applicant Triathlon   In retrospect, it seemed a whole lot like they were administering a psychological test. Event 1:  12-page Application Completion Those fun-loving employers set us up with a clipboard and pencil on a rickety, wheeled office chair and no table. I managed to recant my life with only one episode of writer’s cramp and one small “Hoo-Hoo-Hoo-Hoo” sound-effect when the chair moved backwards unexpectedly. Event 2:  Math Test in an 80-degree Room I haven’t had a math test since I was 16.  That fact alone made me sweat, not to mention the high room temperature.  Deductions for water requests (which I made). Event 3:   Viewing of the Corporate Video This doesn’t sound much like an event, but the office manager put the video on, left the room, but neglected to hit ‘play .’  The same video scene ran for 2 LONG minutes before I got up and pushed ‘play’ myself (full marks
Read more

Ooo Eee Ooo Ah Ah…CHOO!

-
Image
I had a terrible cold for a month .  I have “Seven Dwarf” symptoms too-- Dopey, Sleepy, Sneezy and Grouchy.   I’m thinking I need Doc, but I know what she’ll say:  “It’s a Virus.”  But I’m miserable enough to risk getting the "V" word.    Nice Lady at Doctor’s Office (NLDO):  “What are your symptoms? Me :  “Green *goo* pouring out many of my orifices and the total loss of 4 of the 5 senses.” NLDO :  “Do you have a fever?” Dishonest Wench ( still me ):“Yes, 101 (always a good number to say when you’re lying about your temperature) but I took Ibuprofen so now it’s normal.” NLDO :  “When can you come in?” I’m on the schedule, but not home-free.  In years past, green *goo* (which wasn’t a lie) was the ticket to getting a prescription.  Now?  Not so easy.   Mentioning a fever, may make a bigger impression.   I’m hoping I can manage something like a friend of mine, who was bequeathed with a prescription when he “saved” what was sure to be a sensational, slimy “loogie” for an
Read more