Chocolate, I think I love you


Yesterday, I found two Godiva chocolate bars as I was going to put in my kids’ Christmas stockings.  I ate them like Scarlett O’Hara, filthy from the war, mauled that dusty radish on Tara.

I probably have a slight addiction.

I walked into a candy shop and the customers in the store looked up at me, in unison, like animals sensing a predator.  They clutched their selections and scurried to the cash register.  The candy clerk became super enthusiastic, determined to make me feel like the most important person in the entire mall.  When the manager of the store saw me, his eyeballs rolled back and became dollar signs like Uncle Scrooge McDuck.

Large women have this affect on chocolate vendors. 

Trying to be a reformed choco-holic, I went to a sporting goods store looking for some new exercise gear.  On the cashier’s counter was a display of extra-long Snickers, next to them Butterfingers large enough to be labeled Butterfeet

“That’s gotta be one of those “Power Bars” with asparagus, bark and antler powder in it, right?”
“Nope, they’re just big candy bars.”
“Ring it up”

Blast you, Chocolate, for lurking in unlikely places!

If Clarence, the “It’s a Wonderful Life” angel would indulge me one of those life without something moments, I think my life minus chocolate would be very different.  But would life really be worth living?

Are there other chocolate consumers out there who get woozy when they pass a chocolate donut or hear, “Buy me, you know you want to” whispering voices when they are standing next to a Ghirardelli brownie display?  If so, we must unite and harness this dark power to coexist with candy everywhere.

But let’s wait until after Valentines Day.

Comments

Raining Acorns said…
Oh, s***w the 2-piece bathing suit. Take it from me, at a certain age, no matter what, they're goners. But chocolate, well, that never gets old (and, by the by, they say now that it's GOOD for us . . . along with red wine).
Stacey Hatton said…
Heidi, I feel your pain. You know you are in bad shape when you find yourself holed up in the pantry with a half-eaten bag of semi-sweet chocolate chips in your paws. Not that that has ever happened to me...I've just heard stories! :) Great blog!
Von said…
Ah! Chocolate! What would life be without it? It stops coughs, helps chronic pain, prolongs life, produces euphoria and tastes so darn good.If they start Chocoholics Anonymous I'm not going.
Yeah, I've been gnawing on the leftover block of melting chocolate in the pantry...actual Dawn teeth marks striping it. Not pretty! Love your honest humor, my dear friend!
Hi Raining Acorns: 2 piece bathing suits should be outlawed in some places. Nurse Mommy: I heard that same story. Von: I've often thought they should have a chocolate delivery service (definitely not approved by Chocolate Anonymous). Dawn at Lighten Up: Dawn teeth marks? HILARIOUS!
yaya said…
this is the article i was looking for! thank you for creating this blog

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