Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Head-Dance Revolution

I am a terrible dancer. I can’t slow dance; I can’t fast dance. I LOVE music and I do have rhythm, but I have no idea how to match my inner “jiggy with my outer “giggly.” If I ever busta-really let loose on the dance floor, rain would fall, volcanoes would erupt, spirits would be summoned, and (to borrow a Prince lyric) “…animals (would) strike curious poses.”

I am, however, an unbelievably talented “Head Dancer.” I’m not talking about spinning on my head like an 80’s break-dancer, which would require wires, counter-weights and paramedics. If there’s a song I like, I use my head as a rhythm expression and combine nods, sways and juts. I have invented several Head-Dances I’d like to share with you:

The “Woodpecker” is a Head-Dance performed by rapidly nodding your head to the beat of the music. Beaks are optional. Not to be confused with head-banging--which is more violent and “necky.”

King-Tut is a head jut, starting in the jaw and bringing the face forward. All you’d need is an Asp and black eyeliner to complete the picture. This is a good rhythm and blues accompaniment. A lower-lip extension is a nice addition.

The Weeble is a trip back-in-time to those little round-bottom toys that teeter. Use your head to tip from side to side. Watch out though, Weebles might wobble and not fall down, but they do get VERY dizzy. Good for slower songs.

Water-in-the-Ear is a modification of The Woodpecker. The head is turned sideways to see if anyone else is enjoying the music, then the lower-ear side starts pecking.

The Vulture executed with shoulders shrugged and head bobbing up and down. This is a good Head-Dance with dinner music while waiting for your kid to leave something delicious on their plate.

The best way to “Head-Dance” is a combination of all the above. If there was a Dance-Dance Revolution game for this about-to-catch-on “movement”, it might go something like this:

Weeble- 4 ct. XXXX

Woodpecker -4 ct. XXXX

Vulture -8 ct. XXXXXXXX

King-Tut- 8 ct. XXXXXXXX

I do a lot of Head-Dancing while I'm driving my car. Highways are perfect and private, but for in-town roads, all head-action must cease at stop lights or when someone slowly passes (like if you’re picking your nose.) Everyone has cell-phones these days and I wouldn’t want someone to make a "Woman Having Seizure" call and have a cop to pull me over and check for a medic-alert bracelet.

Although…as I roll down the window, I could do 4-count “Water-in-the-Ear” and see what happens.

No comments: