Wednesday, January 28, 2009

When Men Lose Their Ability to Coordinate

This December, when I picked up my son, Jon, from college, I noticed he was wearing a new sweater.

Where did you get that sweater?”
”I bought it.”
”You REALLY bought yourself a sweater?” I was shocked and joyful.

This “First Real Clothing Purchase” (concert T-shirts don’t count) I found as marvelous as his “First Smile” or his “First Steps.” I got out his baby book and wrote on the “Momentous Firsts” page:

December 19, 2008, age 19 – First Sweater Purchase.

But I know… his attire purchasing years are going to peak someday. Some girlfriend/wife will start helping him pick out his clothes and then his color/style preference know-how will retard.

“Do these go?” he will need to confirm with some female.

Men do buy clothes for themselves at some point in their lives, especially once their mother’s stop buying for them. My husband Fred had clothes when I met him and always dressed nicely. But something happened to him when I started shopping for him.

He forgot how to do it himself.

When Fred and I were married and our closets combined, I saw that everything he owned was neutral. If his clothes were “Garanimals” brand, all the tops and bottoms would be Tigers. In other words…he had a completely idiot-proof wardrobe. Not long after that...

Fred: “Does this go?”

Heidi: “Of COURSE it goes.”

Men’s clothing stores cater to men who forgot how to choose clothes. We went looking for a new suit and accessories for Fred a few years ago and the Men’s Warehouse associates danced around him like Disney animals getting Cinder-Fred ready for the ball. Even then…

Fred: “Does it go?”

Heidi: “They’re professionals, honey.”

The only items men still have the ability to select from their closets “all-by-themselves” are horrible, holey-yet-soft, shirts and pants… you don’t even want to touch. Those items, of course, they put on without confirming their “Do they go?” status.

These are the clothes they, wisely, hide from us.

1 comment:

Jenie Altruda said...

I have noticed that this inability is also transferred to how they pick out clothes for toddlers. Always, "does this go?"